Instructions: Use this SkillGuide to help
you through resolving conflicts with team members.
Type of
Conflict
Guidelines
Notes
Simple conflict—when people know each other’s goals but
neither side can win without the other side
losing
Keep the
conflict simple. Use nonthreatening language, and state the
problem as clearly and factually as possible.
Let
things cool off. If tensions build, take a break.
Face the
issue together. Recognize that the
outcome affects you both, and resolve it as equal
partners.
Pseudoconflict—when there is a miscommunication because
two people actually agree, but they assume that the other
person does not
Find out
if there’s a problem. Touch base with the other person to try
to get a sense of her perception of the issue.
Ask for
clarification. Get the other person to talk about what she
thinks happened. This allows you to correct
misconceptions.
Ego conflict—when emotions have escalated to a degree
that a person feels the need to protect himself and save face;
a must-win, ego-driven, highly emotional argument
Guard
against escalation. Treat the other person with respect by
controlling your emotions and negative reactions. Allow the
other person to express concerns, but don’t permit him to say
more than is necessary or pertinent to the issue at hand. Try
to keep the conversation focused on the problem.
Don’t
just state the conflict; try to describe it. Attempt to
diffuse the emotions and get down to talking about what
actually led up to the problem. Avoid telling the story from
any particular point of view. Stick to the facts.
Determine
the source of the conflict. Examine what the sources of the
conflict were. It’s entirely possible that neither party will
be able to immediately plug into the deeper issues, but at
least you’re talking.
